boot licker
October 8 
It is Springtime here in this wide brown land, dear reader, and with it has come the proverbial Spring Clean; a cleansing, purging and general re-evaluation of one's shit.
It began for me in earnest last week with the cleaning of the closet .
It continued this weekend with a full blown assault on the shed at the back of the garden.
It was thorough, it was conclusive and it was infinitely, embarrassingly and disturbingly revealing.
Indeed it was Apocalyptic, for I discovered three more pairs of boots that I had neglected to factor into my collection equation.
It appears, dear reader, that I do in fact, have 39 pairs of boots.
Yes. 39.
39 pairs of fricken boots.
Good God. Somebody help me, for I am in Trouble.
There is no denying it. I am The End of Days and I need therapy.
I am the owner of a full blown, growling, snarling boot obsession.
Call me the Imelda Marcos of boots, a fanatically flagrant female fiasco of the foot fetish for I cannot help myself.
I thought 36 pairs of boots was hardcore.
Indeed it is 39 - and counting.
I have always been a sucker for the boot.
I cannot pass a shoe store with a pair in the window without stopping for a look.
It is an exercise fraught with danger for they call, they beckon, they lure me with their siren song, their intoxicating leather smells reaching out in tendrilly fingers of decadence to entice me.
It begins with a touch, laden with sexual promise, a stroke down each pair, my palm running their length, my fingers fondling their zips, my hand encircling their toes as I bring them closer, smelling them deeply, the richness of their aroma filling my nostrils and toying with my thoughts as I entertain the idea of entering them.
Ahhh...
Oh, it is no good now.
They know they have me as I plunge my foot into their depths, toes searching the smooth spot at the end of the tunnel as my heel sinks deeply into their base.
The leather encases my leg as I pull at the zip, upwards, upwards, ahhh... Captured...
Oh I love the smell of leather in the morning.
The sweet smell of leather and defeat.
For yes, I own the boots!
Or, perhaps, dear reader, is it that the boots own me?
Indeed, it is a curious concept to find oneself strapped and held in bondage by one's very own boot fetish, captive and tied at the ankles by one's own obsession.
Yet alas, I have no desire to be free.
The boots call and I will answer.
Indeed, my boot fetish finds me doomed.
It may be Spring but something wicked this way comes.
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse ride towards me on the storm.
And ooh yes - are they wearing boots?
Oh, how I want them!
Indeed, seal my fate and bring on The End of Days for I am well prepared.
I have my Tools of Armageddon.
And I'll be looking damned fine as I meet my maker, glorious in one of my 39 pairs of diabolical devilry!!
Lock 'n Load 'n Lick my boots baby!
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Reader Comments (45)
I think it's so funny that you had boots in the closet! That was your first clue right there!!! lol Too wonderful minx.
I myself am a slave to dresses.. I own too many so I am opening an ebay store! Now the only problem is.. which ones can I part with?
not in the closet I meant the shed! everyone has boots in the closet!!!
Those boots are made for walking. God, yours are like an army. 39 pairs! I won't get in your way!
Christina,
The boots are everywhere, everywhere I turn!!
I am the Sorcerer's Apprentice!!
In the trusty garden shed, amongst common garden tools and boxes and suitcases of cast offs, I discovered three pairs lurking amongst costumery I had completely forgotten about. It was a treasure trove of delights!!
While some of the 39 pairs of boots I will simply never wear again (perhaps), I will never sell them.
They are a collection now, you see...and so I am compelled to keep them..for eternity...
or at least until the Apocalypse, which is soon, it appears...
xox
No indeed, Eddie!!
Step out of my way - for these boots are made for walking
and that's just what they'll do.
One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you!
xox
where as i have the distinct appetite... i fear i am low on consumption... i wish you would post a picture of all of your boots in their varying degrees of glory... you have piqued my curiosity.....
Darling Paisley,
I feel compelled, if it did not seem so horrid, to do that very thing and in fact to catalogue their number, with perhaps a description and where and when I purchased them and such...
It is quite fascinating..really....well, to me it is..and also quite sad, I realize that.
xox
39!!! WOW!! When I move back into my mothers house maybe I can acquire at least 15 pairs of boots!
Nah... Im saving all my money to come and see you
Oh - BOOTS! I thought you said BOOBS! Silly me.
...yummmmmi...ok, so iz reading along and slip'n into a dreamland...what was your question, ohh-err, dilemma..?? I don't know how much me can bare as i fondle through yer verbose as i juz get allz tingly and sooo forget the topic... oh Yah, SinSational Boots yoo don!!!!
*and i ventured into yer Flickr-dom...meeWoW... a minx you be since conception i believe, tooo yummi for mere words... ~julian
Hi my dearest Minx. I too suffer a most unholy obsession with boots....
...and Olga, HAAAaaaaghhhh Aghhh, yer such a hOOt !!!
~julian
Minxi doll ... oops again 8x.
Keep ALL the Boots, and go get MORE!!!
i challenge yoo.... mmm'whahhh
~julian
Oh Minxy
We are so kindred it's scary. I am a shoeholic. Boots are the best shoes of all, they're so sexy, so powerful, so sensuous. You do realize that shoes and purses are metaphors for our girl parts, yes?
I am declaring that you are therefore dark, deep and mysterious.
As if that's news. Paging Dr. Freud...
I've been trying to resist the call of the boot...but it is HARD!
39 boots, well that's not so bad! There are far worse addictions, my fine fancy friend.
xoxo
M
How many of these boots are fcuk me boots, dear Minx?
xx
Ma Minx, when you meet your maker will wear only the boots?
I ask, because if you do, I think even he will have trouble confining the licking to just the boots.
Oh darling Meleah!
Please do!! Come and visit me and I will SHARE my boots with you! We can play dress-ups!
I am squealing just thinking about it!
xox
Darling darling Julian!!
Why don't you come and play dress ups too, dear man!!
I don't think you'll fit in many of my clothes - and certainly not any of the 39 boots - for I have tiny feet..!
but we can take groovy pics, JOolian style and post them on Flickr for shits and giggles!!
Hee!
xox
Ah Magus!!
It becomes Unholy doesn't it!!
I fear I am going straight to hell because of mine...
I'll be dressed accordingly, at least!!
xox
I'm glad you're back, darling. I have missed you! x
Darling Olga!
I'm so glad I don't have 39 pairs of BOOBS!!
Although I would have enough brassieres for them!!
I won't even go into the number of bras and panties I have!! I will need locking up!
xox