for sale - delusions of glamour
the domestic minx
8 Comments
Public Sale of Goods
At Home of Domestic Minx
3, Wisteria Lane,
La La Land
April 1, 2007
Lot One
The Delusions of Glamour Collection
Small, Personal and Treasured Selection
of Wigs and Hairpieces
with Mysterious Transformational Properties
- 1 long blonde ringletted wig.
Guaranteed embodiment of Victorian London Tart, complete with convincing faux Cockney accent, uplifting of cleavage via simultaneous appearance of corsetry, fishnet stockings and Victorian lace-up 'ows about a good Friar Tuck boots.
Bottom pinching, nipple squeezing and jolly good rogering to be expected.
- 1 long blonde curly wig ideal for 70's Rock Chick magnetism.
Upon adherance to head, wearer will immediately feel at home wearing totally awesome and far out thigh reducing micro shorts, man, with skin tight Rolling Stones Tongue tanktop and tall black platform boots. Owner will gain immediate access, In Through the Out Door, to all areas via "Fuck Off I'm With The Band" backstage pass.
- 1 long blonde medieval wig with middle part and demure face framing plaiting for escapes into fantasy of medieval times and gratuitous rolls in the long grass.
Will not guarantee escape from subsequent descent into madness brought on by diabolical husbandry act of 1525.
- 1 long layered blonde wig with groovy Sixties styling, yeah.
It will make you horny, baby.
Particularly with simultaneous and unexplained penchant for tight, cleavage revealing bodyshirt, hotpants with attached gunholster, go go boots and ridiculous British accent.
Will throw in not one, but two, Austin Powers wigs, glasses and horrendous teeth. (Just take them, please...)
- 1 long tawny mane, ensuring devastatingly convincing portrayal of Raquel Welch in One Million Years BC.
Consequences of wig placement include riotously pouting bosom, miniscule waist and cataclysmic hips. Wearer will be endowed simultaneously with ability to wear tiniest of leopard print pre-history bikini with inappropriate but entirely groovy platform snakeskin boots or supplementary groovy suede boots with fur accents.
- 1 red bouffant wig enabling gratuitous membership into Sweet Potato Queens.
Wearer will find immediate relief in extra padding provided for bust and butt in encouragement of feminine ideal. Works only with simultaneous application of diamante tiara, opera gloves, cats-eye glasses and white cheerleader boots.
- 1 long red curly wig for mysterious transformation into exotic temptress cliche.
Due to unexplained lengthening of leg, pertness of breast, uplifting of butt and slimming of waist, wearer will find immediate gratification in wearing short, skin tight satin dresses, stockings and suspenders with stupendously high red patent leather stilettos.
(Will accept no responsibility for incalculable social embarrassment likely to be incurred during sudden outbursts of cabaret style performances at refined company gatherings.)
- 1 long black wig ensuring Total Domination over lesser mortals.
Curious appearance of ludicrously tight corset, black fingernails and lipstick, crotchless fishnets, fuck me/fuck you boots and this might hurt a little/I'm gonna make you squeal leather whip will guarantee total submission of most able bodied men.
Blindfold, handcuffs and KY jelly included with purchase.
Prices of wig and accompanying transformational properties to be negotiated at time of sale.
(The Domestic Minx does not warrant or assume any legal liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any of the above information, wig apparatus, product ability, or mysterious process of delusion disclosed.)
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Reader Comments (8)
I am quite certain that if we lived on the same continent, the trouble we would stir up together would be monumental. I have been sporting wigs and costumes for years...on and offstage. In and out of boudoirs. I'll wear a wig to the grocery store if it suits my mood.
I'm lately finding candy colored bobs endlessly appealing.
I'd like the whole bloody lot! You should keep your saucy wigs...you never know what situations might arise when they will be entirely appropos.
xox,
Margot
It's April Fool's Day!
I'm not sure I could ever part with them!!
The memories encased within those synthetic hairs are irreplaceable and priceless...
There are so many more too...
Simply not enough time or space to elaborate on all their stories...
I'm sure yours could tell a tale or two, Margot!
You saucy minx.
Loving the candy pink bob!!
xox
arhhhhhhhhh but I live in Paris my dear
I fear I cannot part with my good friends after all...
I would make any excuse to visit Paris, however...
Oh Paris, je t'adore xxx
hee! heeeeeee! hee! you are a minx indeed.
and loving it!
xx
I'll give ya two-fifty for the boots and whip....and a continental massage
Mmmm, you're on!!