wisdom, and lack thereof...
the domestic minx
18 Comments
It is difficult to be cheerful today, dear reader, for I am ILL.
No, it is not a stomach complaint, or the all too common result of a red wine indulgence.
I am afraid it is the result of Denial.
(And not the denial of which you may be thinking, for I will have none of that.)
No, it is the result of sticking one's head in the sand, or up one's bottom, if you will.
It is the result of Inaction, Denial and Procrastination.
For those of you who still have, or once had Wisdom Teeth, you will know a little of which I speak.
I have Impacted Wisdom Teeth.
Two. Right there at the back of my lower jaw, snarling, squirming and growling with such vehemence that my life has become unbearable.
The fact that they should not be there is of great consequence.
The last time they performed like this was deep in the jungled mountains of West Papua. The locum doctor, a witty, wiry and thoroughly decent chap from London, whose last post had been in one of the Motherland's prisons, told me, as he plunged his able fingers deep within my mouth, that "this is something that can kill you.
I don't want you to die, darling Minx, please have them removed at the very next opportunity. Here is my reference to known expert in field. Please go. Post haste!!"
That was 2004 and, as I took the antibiotics and contemplated my International Manouevres, disaster was looming.
Suffice to say, that as shit hit the fan and escape plans were made via Paris, London Turkey and New Zealand, the wisdom teeth, since becalmed and resting quietly in their inadequade gums, were promptly forgotten.
I cannot even think where the doctoral reference of such dire consequence might be.
Is it still in the bedside table at Hotel L'Odeon in Paris? Is it in the courtyard of Les Alpes in Antalya or in the backpackers tree house in Olympus? I can't be sure.
All I know is that it isn't in the hands of the specialist doctor destined to remove the hideous blighters from my mouth.
And, if I so wished, there is no one to blame. But Me.
Oh, Poor Me...
The eruption of the impacted molars has resumed with angry and morbid vigour.
My gums are swollen in a diabolical representation of Hell.
My throat is infected, I imagine, with Hellish juices, making the swallowing of anything , like chewing on my own wine glass.
I am in horrific pain, tormented by hideously swollen gums, rawness of throat and the shameful consequences of Inaction, Denial and Procrastination.
Until I choose to do something about it, I must soldier on and confront my fate in Minx-like fashion.
I will put on my Best Brave Face, titter with the feather, dally at the sink, whimper beseechingly and await the delicious ministrations of my Lovely Boys who rush to my aid even now...
Ahhh, here they come...
Yes, a little chicken soup would be lovely...
And some cushions behind my head, just there...
Now, throw me some painkillers and the number of the dentist please...
View Printer Friendly Version
Email Article to Friend
Reader Comments (18)
Oh, darling! Why can't you be in the States? I have lovely Percoset, Vicadin and all of their close friends?
Also a wonderful, pain-free surgeon who is very nice :(
Feel better, bright eyes.
Oh my dearest Minx...this is a sad day indeed.
Sending lots of hugs, kisses and get well wishes.
Chipmunks aren't all that bad...they're rather cute actually. Perhaps you could impersonate one for just one little week, yes?! They give you awesome drugs, it feels exactly like crunching on a giant potato chip, I swear. I've given birth without pain killers...I know of which I speak. I swear it is not so bad...hell even Botox hurts more. If I were there, I'd hold your hand and help you keep your lovely chin up.
xox, Mistress M
Thank you Kitty,
I look forward to purring once more.
I am alternately growling and whimpering, mostly whimpering...
Mersyndol, dear Mersyndol, is my special friend...
I would like to make the acquaintance of these others of which you speak...
why can't you be next door?
xx
Dear Mistress M,
I am not only in Denial, I am in fear, deep and immobilizing, at the thought of extractive dentistry.
I am wincing now at the very mention of it.
I am no wimp either. I have tolerated all sorts of horrors and pains.
Funnily enough, I have not experienced the childbirth of which you speak. My tiny frame prohibited me from that. It was caesarians all the way... I actually wanted to experience the birth of my children naturally (not sans painkillers though - OWWWW) but never even went into labour...I will always feel a little cheated by that. Other women scoff and sniff at me when I say that, but I really do..
I have no desire to look like a chipmunk but will take all the drugs I can get my grasping paws on.
Please come and hold my hand and my quivering chin up!!
xox
Poor poor little minx :(
Tooth ache is a terrible thing. The thought of visiting the dentist even worse...
I hope you are back to your bright little self soon.
Take lots of drugs.
aw you poor baby...i know those.they are real monsters!hope you feel better soon and go back to your delicious self...
{{{hugs}}}
You poor Minx.....a bulk shipment of Mersyndol is on the way
Eddie:
It is at the stage where I can hardly wait to see the dentist today. I think there is infection now and my ear is throbbing. There will be no pulling today but there will be antibiotics and pain relief.
Yessssssss....
Maisha,
My monsters are growling and it is unbearable.
I am feeling rather more delicate than delicious right now.
Bring on the drugs!
xx
Thinista,
Mersyndol for breakfast, Mersyndol for tea.
Send lots of sweet Mersyndol just for me.
I need more than than the Divine Ms M(ersyndol) now.
I require some heavy duty antibiotics at this point. There is some major infection going on now and for once I am looking forward to my dental appointment...
::whimper::
I hope you feel better so that you can finally ride that new bike of yours! :)
My dear troubled dentally-challenged Minx,
I too have had similar tooth issues in fact about one year ago I awoke one morning to feel the same pressure at the back of my head having not ingested wine or even one spirit, I instantly knew that a large tuborous enamel foreign body found its way into my jaw overnight. Not wanting to put things off, I made an appointment with a local oral surgeon who turned out to be quite lovely and fine in every way. With mind and mouth numbing drugs coursing through my body, this gorgeous man in white proceeded to remove this monster from my jaw. With each twist and turn my hero smiled and winked his beautiful blue eyes at me. And quick as a pop, the tooth was out and he had me on my way. I can only hope that your surgeon will be as delicious to the eyes and gentle to the touch as mine was to me and he can quickly remove your dental atrocities with charm and vigor...
On the bright side, even though the experience of what they call "wisdom teeth" ironic as those words seem was quite painful, I was given something quite special to cherish in return....the hot man in the white coat memories I call upon every so often in my dreams and fantasies (always twisting and turning with a smile and a wink from those beautiful blue eyes)..
be well my minx
I dedicate my next yoga practice to you and your sweet smile... good energy coming your way....and by chance if you feel a sudden warmth in your palm while he is digging and pulling, it is me holding your hand and helping you through....
kimmy kat (purrr)
Ouch, hope you feel better soon, in the mean time painkillers will work wonders. I personally haven't been to a dentist in years, they scare me a little.
Thank you Maria,
I would like nothing better than to hop on my bike in some joyous '70's representation of fun and freedom. (Perhaps I should then have a banana seat and tassle handles...)
Unfortunately, I feel like I have been run over by someone on their BMX, with some special swivel manouevres enacted on my head...
Soon I will ride, soon...
Kimmy Kat,
Thank you darling for your kind and supportive thoughts. I have just returned from a visit to my dentist, nothing like the one you described - doh! - and I have THREE of the wretched blighters to remove on the 14th.
It will be hellish.
I have a horrendous infection that has EATEN INTO MY BONE. What the hell!!!
But this will make it easier to remove.
Ho, that's jolly!!
Fortunately I now have a veritable feast of drugs and antibiotics to distract me and smooth the rough edges.
I do like the idea of your dentist doing just that...mmm..
I'm sure I could work a drill into my repertoire, and some injections certainly...
On that note, I'm going to dose myself up good and proper and wait for the delicious warm feeling...
purrrr
Lola,
You have every right to feel scared.
Dentists are a fearful bunch, with all their instruments of torture and harrowing injections.
However, once braved, there is an almost immediate relief!!
I had mine out years ago and was very nervous. Despite the dread, it was completly painless, I hope you have the same experience. Good luck!
Dear SS,
Pain. Chipmunk Cheeks. Bruising. I'm fully expecting the Unholy Trio of Post Operative Results. It will be then considered a bonus if none of it is as bad as I fear...
I am very nervous...
Thank you for the cheer on!!