foreign tongue
the domestic minx
32 Comments
While currently embosomed in the fluffy and feathery nest of Home,
embodying and epitomising the very essence of The Domestic Minx,
I like to remember the times when I was much more of
an International Minx of Mystery.
Oh yes,it is true.
I am the hip-swinging, shot-slinging, globe-trotting member of the jet-setting elite who left her expat world for housework,teenagers and a chance to write her book.
I have spent a good deal of time in the International Departure Lounge.
I was the one who, under quite the storm cloud, fled the mountains of West Papua for the streets of Paris, spending a week gallivanting and parlez-vous vous parlez françaising with my friend after enduring unmentionable torment at the hands of a vile and jealous overseer.
It was I that subsequently languished at my Nan's house in England for seven days before spontaneously calling over my two sons from Australia to join me for a week of sun and adventure in Turkey followed by a few nights of seedy bars and dubious nightlife in Hong Kong which was really just a prelude to two weeks of snowboarding and bungee jumping in New Zealand.
Oh the thrill! The unabashed exhilaration of International Jet Setting!
My life, dear readers, was an itinerary.
A rollercoaster, a hurdy gurdy, a constant flit from one continent to another in a jaunt that was utterly intoxicating and addictive.
Oh and how I do miss it!
Reading my dear friend Margot's Meditteranean ramblings last week sent my heart a flutter, I'm afraid.
And so tonight I sit here, adrift,
lost in the memory of foreign climes and deliciously foreign tongues..
I long to eat my gorgonzola and sip my Shiraz from the balcony at L'Odeon and catch sight of funny men wandering home in their ill fitting suits and rugs with no loyalty.
I want to feel the heat of the sun as I bury myself in the pebbles at Olympus beach, nibbling at baklava and meandering home through ancient ruins at the end of the day.
My heart cries for the limoncello and lachryma christi of Positano, the magical mysterious ouzo of Santorini, the crisp and sexy baguette of Paris.
I find flirtatious phrases, delightfully and foolishly used during periods of international intoxication, peeping into my consciousness, their deliciously inappropriate and saucy connotations disturbing me in my domestic duties, curling my tongue and rrrrolling my rrrrs...
"M'excusez-vous, parlez-vous Minx?"
(Excuse me, do you speak Minx?)
"Est-ce que c'est des pommes frites dans votre poche ou êtes-vous heureuse juste de me voir?"
(Is that a French fry in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?)
"Does this wine go well with sex?"
Ce vin est-il bien assorti au sexe?
Does this wine go well with sex?
Oh what simple joy it is to ask this question, knowing full well, my pert and minxy tongue in cheek, that even the universal glass of water is the perfect liquid accompaniment to sex.
Nevertheless the saucy phrase is guaranteed to get the foreign tongues wagging, if not salivating, at the thought of a hearty main course.
Which has all left me feeling rather restless...
and hungry...
It is done then!
I am going International.
Domestic style.
I shall assuage my foreign longings with paella, rich and hearty with jamón y gamba.
Oh España! I will be Spanish. Click Click!
My face will speak of montage and magnetism, my eyes a narrow provocative slit as I pour my feline frame into a silky sheath of thigh slit ruffles and louis heeled boots.
Gotan Project in a delirious trip hop flamenco tango slides through the cd as I establish the location of a good chianti and some fava beans.
It is just as well that my husband has been learning some rudimentary Spanish, for I have a request I simply must ask.
"Viértame por favor un cristal robusto de vino rojo que puede ser que aprecie completamente su manhood."
(Please pour me a sturdy glass of red wine that I might fully appreciate your manhood.)
or perhaps it should be...
"Viértame por favor dos cristales de vino rojo que puede ser que aprecie completamente la robusteza de su manhood."
(Please pour me two glasses of red wine that I might fully appreciate the sturdiness of your manhood.)
Oh dear, it really is rather easy to create something of an International Incident when one is weilding a slippery foreign tongue.
Now, gentle reader,excúse me por favor mientras que me deslizo en algo más cómodo.
(Excuse me while I slip into something more comfortable..)
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Reader Comments (32)
Doesn't all wine go well with sex? I suppose it depends on the wine...and the person you are asking!
I want to run away and travel the world with the Minx! We could send postcards scribbled on coconuts and platform shoes...search little shops off the beaten track for bits and baubles...drink wine and tasty beverages and eat delicious food. Dance on table tops and cause riots.
YAY!
Sigh.
I've missed the Minx terribly!
xox!
Mistress M
Oh my darling, darling Mistress M,
Let's do it!!
Let's hit the road, or the coffee tables at least, and paint le town rouge!!
I am positively itching for an adventure and am filled with that familiar wanderlust and mischievous irritation!
I absolutely love exploring unfamiliar places in an unfamiliar culture! I am insatiable!
What a delicious idea !!!
So glad you're back! xx
xox
The Mother Continent, ma'am, is where I would wish to see you. Shaking your womanly hips to the pulsating rhythms of the jungle in sultry embrace of your hairy cousins. The world of homo sapiens is too tame for a woman like you. Much too tame.
Oh I fear it is, my hairy friend...
Although I have travelled far and wide, my excursions have not taken me much further than the upper corner of your deep, dark land.
I should love to do the hippy hippy shake to those primal pulsating rhythms of which you speak and pay homage to the more hirsute of my party.
Perhaps I could travel there upon your broad back...
(I found your little comment lurking out near the bathroom Uncle Norman, so I have brought you into the warmth of my parlour...)
with my slippery international tongue, I would be delighted to slip into something more comfortable Miss Minx...
(What a creep...)!!
May 23, 2007 | uncle norman (unclenorman@yahoo.co.uk)
Hello and welcome Uncle Norman,
At the risk of riding that slippery slope towards toilet humour, I would like to add that I am sure you are quite the cunning linguist.
There, I said it!
Thank you for visiting my parlour, darling!!
Au revoir x
There is nothing I enjoy more than a good adventure. Except, possibly intercourse, of course accompanied by a glass of wine.
The real art is to not spill any of the wine while performing the sex act.
I need an adventure too :/
Oh, my dear, you have certainly done it now. What little resolve I had mustered to stay away from your blog on the grounds that it excites me too much has melted on the music from your continental tongue.
Take me to a sun-drenched vineyard, woman - driving whatever car, wearing whatever shoes, and speaking whatever delicious language you choose - and for one, brief moment I will forget all about Mrs Blunt. Our bodies will mingle on a bed of grapes, and we will delight as the juices squish and squash around us, spurting across our fevered skin.
Unless you fancy a couple of days in Frinton, instead?
Oh, wine, sex and adventure...
It is all a delicious intoxication, my dear Lordly friend.
One that leaves me giddy just thinking of it, in all it's delectable combinations.
Oh but that damnable wine spillage!
It is a most dreadful nuisance.
Pack your bags Christina and join me on a road trip!
Unfortunately, it will have to be in the Mazda.
There has still been no miraculous delivery of my dream car to the driveway...
Et alors ? Le vin était il vraiment bien assorti au sexe Dear Minx ?
I wait for you to participate to my "concours" (you juste have to give me a delicious picture of yout panty, string or your shoulder if you're too shy)
I'm waiting for you....
Oh Bill,
There will have to be a thorough dousing in chilled water after that intoxicating interlude.
In fact I feel rather giddy...
Sus palabras están como intoxicando como cristal robusto de vino rojo.
Frinton sounds like a grand adventure, darling.
I love to go somewhere I've never been before.
Perfectly matched Violette x
My man is the perfect Shiraz; ripe and spicy, richly textured, with firm, ripe tannins and a long tangy finish. He is delicious, bold and satisfying and complements my spiciness quite delectably.
Oh, je suis désolé que j'aie été si tardif et pathétique dans mes contributions.
J'ai été un invalide et tout à fait non mon art de l'auto-portrait minxy habituel.
Je vous envoie un certain sauciness, je promets.
Minx Thank you for slipping my tongue comment into the warm place.
I have a a very entertaining wander around the world of the domestic minx.
I think my little Estonian Housekeeper may have read the good wife guide. Me thinks she needs to read more of the domestic minx!
I think your little Estonian Housekeeper could well be a Domestic Minx in the making, Uncle Norman, especially if she is following The Good Wife's Guide through to it's generous conclusion.
I, of course, will be happy to provide tutelage for this little minx in the making...
xx
Missing you like my innocence, dahling.
"Does this wine go well with sex?" is my very new favorite line. I have every intention of spreading the gospel of the holy Minx for all eternity.
ps - Do feel free to come visit a Kitty in St. Louis. I'd definitely be up for some high quality debauchery.
Oh darling,
St Louis is right there at the top of my itinerary!!
Of course, the very BEST debaucherous times are those that are high quality!!
I have missed you too Kitty, purrrr...
xx
Glad you're back, nestled once more in the comforting bosom of the boudoir xx
Oh, The Holy Minx...
I think I just had an Epiphany...
That is rather profound isn't it...
Deliciously Unholy really...
I love it.
You are a treasure Kitty darling and I do love you x