the illustrious minge
May 31 My minge is behaving oddly.
I fear, sadly, that she is becoming a Diva.
Her mood swings this morning have been so erratic that I have been forced to scowl in her direction.
There have been bouts of Unabashed and Shameless Sauciness, followed by long periods of Pouting; shy, reclusive cries of wanting to be alone, juxtaposed later by Flaunting, flamboyant and flagrant, caution thrown to the wind in careless abandon.
I am at my wit's end.
She is impossible.
It appears Fame has gone to her head..
At least that appears to be the result of Our Very Interesting Discovery.
Every now and then, I like to peruse the administration portion of my site.
I enjoy wandering the corridors of The Domestic Minx, see who's lurking, where they've originated, how they have found me, what peculiar sequence of links have lured them to my bosom. It is a compelling curiosity.
What particularly arouses my interest is the visitor who has arrived via the Google search box .
While it is hilarious to expose the oddities that people actually type in here, it is even funnier to find that their odd request has sent them hurtling directly to your front door.
I once had a visitor from Slovenia who, preoccupied with "the smell of oily hair", ended up in a rather awkward spot. Clearly, his search proved fruitless.
I didn't hear him leave. He had disappeared before I had the chance to offer him a cup of tea.
Likewise, the fellow who came on the promising whiff of "Cocksmeller".
Realizing, too late, that he had stumbled into a room replete with curious pet names and not a beastly array of wafting phallus, he was off, like a dirty shirt.
But allow me to return to my minge.
For she is performing now, even as we speak...
My investigations this morning have allowed me, along with the Diva in question, to make a most curious discovery.
It seems, especially in the past month, that there has been a veritable stampede in the direction of the Domestic Minx.
And all on the strength of the Minge.
I am convinced it is due, primarily, to a provocative little post I wrote in March regarding bush topiary.
I must say, it was a cheeky little number, one that I thoroughly enjoyed writing, particularly as the antidiluvian craft of manicuring the minge now seems to be a forgotten art, ditched in favour of rampant deforestation programmes.
My flagrant expose has, it seems, driven traffic to my private quarters on the strength of such interesting queries as:
- (the ubiquitous)minge
- bald minge
- shaven minge
- mojo minge
- fluffy minge
- well-worn minge
- hairy minge
- look at my minge
- minge swing
- my pubes are dirty
- big bush pubes
- sad minge
- burger minge porn
- dirty minge tattoo
- badger minx
- pubic minx hairs
- rubber minge
- Cafe minge
While all this traffic is welcome in it's potential to create new readership, I have cautioned my minge not to get a big head over it.
Drive-by badger hunters may be plentiful but they are likely not the sort to linger over a glass of Shiraz in my boudoir, disappointed perhaps that it is not a pussy parlour, leaving my domestic domain no doubt untitillated by the dysfunctions of my canine companion, uninspired even by the eloquent evisceration of my various complexities.
And that's fine.
For I am greater than the sum of my private parts.
Of course, my minge is having none of it.
She is proud and precious and full of her own importance.
So be it.
I can allow some smugness.
But only 15 minutes of it..
Fame, oh little Front Bottom, is fleeting...and fickle...
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Reader Comments (30)
...wait, this isn't a pussy parlour?
Your valuable research shows that the lesson for bloggers the world over, in our endless quest to seduce Les Googlers, is to go on a veritable minge binge with our tags. We must, it seems, fringe our blogs with minge.
Fortunately, Mrs Blunt's inability to use the simplest of epilators means that I have plenty to spare to decorate the cornices of my blog. I sometimes think, in fact, that she thinks 'to have a brazillian' means she should sport a look something like a rain forest.
Although my own preference is for something nicely trimmed, my views on minge length have altered radically since I discovered how to floss correctly.
Affectionate kisses
Bill
ha ha ROFLOL! I am particularly gobsmacked this morning, coz I am laughing too much. Your writing is brill.
Okay! okay! I once got a short flood of readers who had googled tit hanging. Not tit tits you dirty so and so's, bird tits (blue tits and the like). I had put a ditty on my blog. tellie tale tit, yer tongue will get bit, all the little dickie birds will come and have a bit.
TITS! love em!
Oh, it's just littered with pussy!
Not quite polluted yet, but I'm working on it...
My darling, brilliant Bill,
I simply love the idea of a Minge Fringe.
Perhaps this could be a whole new Social Consciousness.
Then again, it's versatility as a product in the world of Blog Design is infinite..
On a practical level, maybe we could sell it by the metre...
The entire world of art and crafts could find itself in the grip of a revolution.
I shall ask my friend Margot if she thinks it presents itself as a viable resource we could tap into...
As for the rainforest.
We should preserve it after all.
Perhaps Mrs Blunt is hip to The Latest Thing...
xox
Oh Jafabrit,
That is too funny!!!!
"HANGING" tits!!!
I love the 'tit' word.
It is so short, sharp and ship shape.
Blue tits, of course, are just cold and brittle...
XOXOXOX
These googlers are the worst of visitors - all they want is cheap thrills. Did a blog writer ever acquire a new reader from a search engine? I never have, although they account for roughly half my visitors.
As for your minge, I was convinced of its excellence on my very first visit to this blog. You write as only a lady with a minge of the finest quality would. Incidently, we gorillas use the word 'cha-cha'. A bit of pruning is alright, but the bald cha-cha is an abomination.
what a titillatingly interesting post.....
Well now...
"my pubes are dirty"
How in the hell would one be able to tell? I'll say, you get a lot of interesting visitors ;)
Your site may not be a Pussy parlour.
Bit it is most certainly a smouldering hot box of the delectable, dysfunctional, diarist.
Oh Madam Minx I wonder at you and your marvellous, mysterious, manicured, minge.
My dear Minx, you inspired me to check my (neglected) blog stats and some of the google searches have honestly made me blush. I don't think they found entirely what they were looking for in my little cafe. It's amazing what people will google for...
Oh GB,
Those dirty little Googlers with their sordid little explorations...
It must be such a disappointment when they tap in "big hole", "puffy cheeks" and "tool manipulation" and end up at a story describing my wisdom teeth extraction...
They will, however, find some tips on manicuring their minge, which is the sort of Google Gold everyone is scratching for...
I love the term "cha-cha"!! It's rather jolly! I could kick up my heels on the strength of that!
x
Hello Paisley!!
I love the smell of titillation in the morning!!
Welcome to my boudoir, darling xx
Hi Slick!
Indeed - how does one quantify the dirtiness of one's pubes?..
I certainly hope they don't think the Domestic Minx will be assisting in the cleansing process...
I will require more than a sturdy pair of rubber gloves for that task!
x
Ooh, a smouldering hot box...
Thank you, Uncle Norman,
from the heart of my deliciously dysfunctional and Diva-esque front bottom.
xx
I am quite sure we have shared some of these dubious Googlers, Lola.
I am convinced that the character searching for tea and sympathy at the Cafe Minge has ended up at The Cherry Cola Cafe!!
x
Today's post has aroused me so much, I managed to tip over a priceless Ming vase with my erection.
Needless to say, I shall be sending you the bill forthwith.
I so agree that you are greater then your private parts dear Minx...sorry that I have been late in commenting but I have been busy with moving :) wonderful post!
I think what you meant to say, my dear Likely, was that you managed to tip over a worthless Minge vase in your vast porn collection.
I'm not covering your arse, or your substantial penis, again.
I feel the time has come for you to accept responsibility for your distractible, dysfunctional and thoroughly diabolical erections.
x
Oh how lovely it is to hear from you again, dear Lady Terri!!
I have missed your dulcet tones and am glad to hear that the moving house business has finally set you free upon the blogosphere once more!!
Welcome back !!
xx