guilty pleasures
the domestic minx
24 Comments
I was wafting about the confectionery section of the supermarket this morning
when an unfamiliar voice joined my creamy dreams of cocoa love.
"It's my guilty pleasure."
announced the rather curvacious
and red faced woman next to me,
sliding two slabs of Old Gold into her trolley.
"Oh, pleasure indeed," I smiled,
reaching for the Chocolat Noir.
"Why on earth spoil it with guilt?"
"Well I, oh,"
"Just enjoy it." I winked,
popping my own dark pleasure into the basket.
My comment, unduly shameless
and nonchalant,
made me wonder, dear reader.
Why are our most treasured pleasures
tinged with that taste most toxic?
Guilt.
As a child I was steeped in it.
Growing up Catholic ensured huge servings of guilt were heaped upon my plate and served up religiously with each meal. I almost choked on the bloody stuff.
It was an insidious thing, and pervasive. Almost anything worth entertaining was laced with sin, and so a dose of guilt was inevitable.
Yet the very mischief made the misadventure so deliciously desirable that a little remorse was a small price to pay.
Kissing bad boys and smoking my Nan's cigarettes felt so much better knowing it was naughty. Furtive, fevered, lust-filled forays in the backseats of cars were an orgasmic banquet upon which I feasted, revelling in the wrong, my appetite wild and whet by it's wickedness.
Shameful things are always the most delectable, are they not?
Do we not want to devour, in secret, those things most decadent, most diabolical?
I do.
Being filled with a delicious mixture of exhilaration and shame, I know I am not the only one tempted sorely by those things most sinful.
It is indeed their badness that makes them so good.
I can assure you, being lectured about
the evils of sex before marriage
was the best aphrodisiac for
frantic fevered fucking.
No rumpy pumpy in the house made the backseat,
the wardrobe and behind my friend's sofa
while she went to make coffee,
so much more thrilling.
It provides a feeble explanation
of my exhibitionism emerging at age eleven
after being chased around the house
by my god-fearing, cane weilding grandmother
after surprising her with my first striptease routine.
I'm not sure, however, if anything will fully explain my disgraceful and mortifying indulgence in gorgonzola, the most malodorous and socially repugnant of all cheeses, but as it is indeed my guilty and shameful pleasure, I feel no explanation necessary.
And of course there are no explanations required for any of our guilty delectations,
are there, dear reader?
They are the secret pleasures, primal, playful, perhaps even pathetic,
that confound us with their devilish mix of joy and shame.
They are those things so decadent, so diabolical, so discomforting
that perhaps we dare not even tell our friends.
Well, my dear ones, you can tell me.
I promise I will not judge.
Goodness! How could I, indeed!
And in return, I will share with you, each Thursday, one of my own guilty pleasures.
For your pleasure...
Oh it will be sweet.
Almost as sweet as squeezing the honey straight from the bottle and into my open mouth as a shot of Benedictine chases it from behind.
Ah, pleasure indeed.
I imagine I will require three Hail Marys for what happens next...
And a jolly good spanking, if I'm lucky..
Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
Alexander Woollcott
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Reader Comments (24)
my darling,,,, you have outdone yourself... the flavor still wet upon the palate of my imagination... i return to read it again....
bravo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ma minx. Naughty is nice, secret is sex and taboo just tantalizing. If you want somebody to do something just tell them they can't.
"You musn't kiss me there!" "Oh well maybe just a little....bit more....no. don't. stop..."
The catholicly imposed guilt worked so well on me, I steered clear of the backseat. I'm sure it had something to do with the perverted step-father who hoisted the dogma onto me me along with his own flavor of repression.
And apologies for the tag -- I do see many posts down that you have already more than shared...
this is one of your best posts....ever.
guilt, pleasure, sex, chocolate.... you got it all! I read it twice too!
it feels so good to be bad sometimes
Ah Paisley...
One of the pleasures I feel no guilt over...
delighting my readers...
and causing them to ponder their own delicious indulgences...
xx
How true Uncle Norman...
If someone's says no, it is almost a screaming, breathless yes!
Things are so much more enticing when they are Verboten.
Taboo is tantalizing!
xx
Guilt is one of those truly dirty, foul, deplorable words...it joins organization, responsibility, abstinence, and worst of all...no.
Catholic Repression has a lot to answer for, Kelly.
In my case it was an inordinate and unhealthy interest in The Forbidden...
In yours it was the untasted pleasure of The Backseat.
I'm sure you've made up for it somewhere else though, haven't you darling...
I will accept any tag from you with pleasure xx
Meleah darling,
They are the spice of life, aren't they!
I'll have extra sprinkling of them all, please.
Please tell me I shouldn't...
It will make the experience even tastier!
xx
Darling raffi,
It feels so good to be feeling so bad about feeling so good about being bad..
And rather exhausting too!
xx
Guilt is vile.
It is one of those wasted and indulgent emotions...
Guilt over things we've done.
Regret over the things we haven't.
There is only so much schlepping about in a hair shirt that this little minx will do...
And as for those other "dirty, foul, deplorable words... organization, responsibility, abstinence, and no".
I am almost physically ill at their mention.
Vive l'indulgence!!
xox
Minx, I DO want to go into sordid depraved detail about my numerous guilty pleasures but....alas, they're all illegal.
Either I don't have any or I just can't figure out why I should feel guilty ;) But I sure enjoyed reading yours LOL! ah!!1 that is it, I feel a little guilty about being a wee bit voyeuristic and taking pleasure in your post.hee! hee! hee! wink! wink! nudge! nudge! say no more!
My dearest Minx
Guilt is a highly overrated emotion.
Life is far too short to not eat the dessert...while doing something naughty with it.
I was Catholic, but I gave it up for Lent.
Paging Bacchus?! Wine AND ecstasy...fill my cup to the brim!
xoxo
Mistress M
Delicious post for sooo many reasons. I do so love your blog dear Minx!
Guilty pleasures?......I never feel guilty about doing something goooood.
Ah Thinista,
I do so understand...but still dying to know more ... grrr...
I am reminded of one of my favourite sayings:
"Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening."
xx
Jafabrit darling,
You are simply shameless!!
And delicious!!
I love it that I find myself one of your "guilty", or should I say, "shameless" pleasures!!
Did you like my little reference to Benedictine?
I hope you have some by now.
It certainly is a decadent and deliciously therapeutic ambrosia.
xx
My darling Mistress M,
Oh so true...
Life is too short to not be indulging in one pleasure or another on a daily basis...
I require the ministrations of my favourite demi-God so frequently he could pass as my personal assistant...
Bacchus darling, my cup runneth over, wipe me clean please, with your madness.
xox
Oh, how darling to have you in my boudoir,
Michelle x
Guilt? It is a silly thing...
It is only purposeful when it inspires rebellion and wanton mischief...
xx