paris, je t'aime
July 14 
He was tall and he was brooding, his flashing eyes, his burnished skin, his dark and gently curling hair a tousled melange of raw sensuality, poetic injustice and the urbane je ne sais quoi of every clichéd Frenchman in existence.
"Excusez-moi Madame, mais je pense que vous pouvez prendre une peu d'asperge coincée entre vos deux dents avant." (1)
I blushed. His words mellifluous as honey to my ears.
His hand brushed against mine as the euro slipped like droplets of sex soaked sweat into the palm of my hand.
"Merci. Beaucoup." I breathed, looking from beneath my lashes at his mouth, sensual yet strong, uttering words so laden with aphrodisia I could barely contain my excitement.
"Peut-être vous pouvez doucement l'enlever avec votre ongle avant que quelqu'un d'autre le voie." (2)
I licked my lips and smiled coyly, his voice like sex slow and languorous, sending a shiver of delight along the length of my thighs and warming me in a way that made me cross my legs.
"Je pense la Madame que vous devez lécher vos dents pour le déloger." (3)
I turned the coins over in my hand and smiled at him, meeting his gaze as I slid the euro into the breast pocket of my jacket, pausing at the swelling beneath where I let my hand linger briefly, meaningfully.
He raised one eyebrow, the sensual mouth curling with delicious innuendo as his eyes narrowed, lingering gently on my face, my eyes, my lips, his unflinching regard a kiss as heady, as intoxicating, as thrilling as champagne.
Oh, Paris, je t'aime. Oh how I love The French!
The flirtation. The lingering gaze. The undressing of another with one's eyes.
I was as heady as a teenager out after midnight, drunk on a night of dance and drink, yet it was just after lunch with simply one glass of wine and a delightful salade d'asperges à la vinaigrette de framboises.
I was almost swaying with the inebriation of my own coquetry.
"Au revoir." I smiled, my eyebrow lifting as his did, our dance a delicious dalliance of mimicry and implication.
"Au revoir Madame, j'espère quand je vois que vous again it serez sans verdure." (4)
"Oui, oui." I whispered, the raw sensuality of his words filling me with promise as I swept from the restuarant and stepped out onto le boulevard Saint-Germain.
So flushed with excitement was I that we were almost at the Metro when I eventually spoke to my friend J.
When I did, it was too late.
"Ooh Claire, did you know you have the biggest piece of asparagus between your teeth!!"
No I did not.
Neither did I know my French...
Oh, c'est la vie...
sacré bleu
and le shit!
The horrible truth revealed below:
1. Excuse me Madam, but I think you may have a little asparagus wedged between your two front teeth.
2. Perhaps you can gently remove it with your nail before someone else sees it.
3. I think, Madam, you must lick your teeth to dislodge it.
4. Goodbye Madam, I hope when I see you again it will be without greenery. (loser...)
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Reader Comments (31)
OMG LOL! I can't stop laughing, it isn't fair! I had goosebumps at the delicious flirtation, and then I plummeted back to earth, BUMP!!!!!!
You sure know how to take us on a roller coaster ride of emotion, and magnificently. What a writer you are.
That...WAS HILARIOUS!
Hohn, hohn, hohn!
Great story, brilliant writing...
Je t'adore!
xoxo
Mistress M
No, no! Minxy, surely this is not what he said. shaking head I'm sure your original assumptions were correct, he was flirting uncontrollably and did not even notice the tiny imperfection on your otherwise-perfect mouth! If he noticed at all I bet he was offering to remove the offensive object himself..with finger..tongue or...*wink*
xoxoxoxo
Rapunzel
Wonderful, my dearest Minx! Such passionate writing, and then the woeful reality of life!
Of course, that's what sets us Englishmen apart from our French counterparts. We'd think nothing of leaning across to help you dislodge the wayward piece of asparagus. In fact, we'd form an orderly queue to do so...
Heh! What a seducable woman you are, dear Minx. I mean that as a compliment, of course. The time has come to introduce you to <A HREF="http://daphnewaynebough.blogspot.com">Daphne Wayne-Bough</A>, widow, diarist, linguist and lover of Paris. She is one of the few bloggers who has met my hairy self in person and knows many of my secrets. She is currently updating her blog with tales of her vacation in Ireland.
Blast, your comments don't allow live links! Here are Daphne's details:
name: Daphne Wayne-Bough
url: daphnewaynebough.blogspot.com
oh you sneaky little badger-like minx you... you had me all the way thru.....t'was the night that dreams are made of... not!!!!! i love this post... and i thank god i don't speak french so it wasn't ruined for me!!!!!!!
Très amusant, madame.
I do not care much for the French since they went around decapitating all their aristocrats.
A senseless waste of some fine hair-dos, that was.
LOL.... LOVED THIS ONE!TOO FUNNY!
the only French word i sort f knew was "je t'aime"
..... which means I LOVE YOU?
There is nothing more rollicking than the cruel realization of having had greenery between one's teeth during a flirtation...
C'est la vie, my dear Jafabrit....
and life is a rollercoaster.
Up....and down.
xx
Mon cherie, Mistress M,
Je t'adore aussi!!
Je me suis dévelopé pour méfieer de l'asperge...
(I have grown to distrust asparagus...)
xoxo
With my flashing smile, it is doubtless he could avoid the glaring greenery had he wanted to, my dear Rapunzel...
It was a forest.
A toothpick at the very least, my saucy friend, would have alleviatiated my horror.
The offer of anything else would have been considered as well, as you can imagine...
xoxox
Thank you darling Bill...
Being that the wayward asparagus was rather like a green and stringy rope, the queue could well have grasped it tug-o-war style...
If only some friends from across the channel had been there to rally forth with some support...
xox
Yes, my hairy friend, seducable indeed, though perhaps I would have had more success with flowers in my hair than foliage in my mouth...
Daphne sounds fascinating!!
I will wander over to give her a thorough investigation - she sounds entirely up my alley!!
xox
My sentiments entirely, dear Paisley...
If only my French and my wits had been a little sharper...
My ego and fantasy a little less inflated...
The French-English dictionary a little less revealing...
C'est la vie..
:(
xox
Ah, the French...
I must say, my inflated head was a little lighter too after this episode, dear Likely...
xox
Je t'aime!!
I love you, it is true!!
And I do, darling Meleah, I do...
xox
Oh, my poor Minx
I would have rushed to your rescue with floss and fingernail!
Damn those French.
I love you too. I was looking through all the minx files this weekend, and your flickr photos. You are such a beautiful woman, with such skill for imagery, and your writing moves me every time to places inside of me I have never been. You are a delicious. decadent, desireable, darling, delight. I cant get enough of you
hahaha I loved this! This is so me!