down the rabbit hole
the domestic minx
26 Comments
This isn't real life.
Real life is letting men fuck you over their desks
(and enjoying it, which is somehow the worst thing).
Real life is regularly running out of money, and then food.
Real life is having no proper heating. Real life is physical.
Give me books instead: give me the invisibility of the contents of books,
the thoughts, the ideas, the images.
Let me become part of a book.
And so I bought it. I bought the book on the strength of that teaser,
along with the promise of a portal into psychokinetic metaspace. Smart, stylish and dizzying, "The End of Mr Y" tantalizes me now from his place beside my bed, luring me with a declaration of curses, mysterious deaths and perhaps some flagrant fucking.
He calls me as a lover might, his allure as tangible, as real as the dust that lays on the shelves, the dishes that pile at the sink and the domestic duties that sit undone.
And oh how undone I become in the custody of a good book, for in my own feverish hands the rest of the world ceases to exist and it's all a slippery slide down the rabbit hole.
Conversations wither, tasks lay abandoned and time is inconsequential.
For truly this is a guilty pleasure that begs total and utter allegiance.
It is curious, is it not, that a new book, much like a lover, calls, cries and demands one's attention when we are at our most busy. Today, for example, because I have two parties to prepare for on the weekend, when there is an entire Bollywood of curries, naan breads, raitas and dhals to prepare, in fact when there is so much to do that I can scarcely breathe, I can hear them whispering..
I say "they" because my accumulation of their number is incessant and their subsequent arrangement by my bed in rotating threesomes often inspires a little rivalry.
"Oh Minx! I'm waiting for your fingers," they call, "my pages ache for your touch! Read me please!"
I can only persist with the Tikka Masala for so long before the mystery of "Orpheus Lost", my current read, strides musically from my bedroom to the mellow plucking of the oud. Worried that his enigma will be lost with the advent of Mr Y, his determination to lure me to his pages is nothing short of exotic.
"My darling Minx" he purrs into my ear, "Let me caress you with my words. Touch me with your gentle hands and I will fill you with such delight that the Universe will cease to exist."
"I cannot" I cry, "For the beef needs me as you do not. It longs for my spices, my cream, for the soft and tender touch of my slow hand."
"Leave it Minx and let me take you now" whispers Mr Y at my other ear, "I can show you another world, for there are portals through which my love can flow. I can take you there, or I can take you here over the kitchen bench if you'd prefer, my dear".
And while the prospect of being filled with his fizzing intelligence leaves me weak, I spurn them both as I heed the call of the Korma. Separating the chicken thighs is making me as hot as a Bombay whorehouse but my sweaty ministrations do nothing but goad my literary suitors, even as I lick the coconut cream from my fingertips.
Oh, the books are nothing if not persistent, filling my head with visions I can scarcely ignore.
"Minx, my darling, see how I have fluffed the cushions for your sweet head, so that I may fill it with pleasure..." teases Orpheus.
"That Korma can simmer for a while," adds Mr Y, "Let those spices do their work, Minx, while I do mine to you."
Oh, yes. Why not? My spices are simmering, the dishes are piled and I'm more than ready for a bit of relief. With a book..
I might just put my feet up, throw my head back and lose myself in one of my paper tigers for a while.
Just which one, I'm not sure...
Perhaps it will be both...
Grrr...fluff those cushions boys!
And let's slip down that rabbit hole!
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Reader Comments (26)
I just love when a good book sucks me in like that. Nothing else gets done! (your blog does that to me...I look forward to every single entry. I am drawn in and never want the posts to end.)
why do I always need a shower when I leave here?
Phew! I seriously think I may have blacked out a little bit while reading that!
I totally understand what you mean though! Quite recently I picked up a copy of "The Golden Compass" and it calls to me.
"O., hurry! Read me! Lyra needs your help! There is an entire world to save!"
And I give in. I read...
Tear through it...
And after I'm spent, I fall asleep with it resting on my chest.
And what brainless twat said that reading is boring? Geez.
You could show them a thing or two!
oh you boost my spirits so... just when i think i am sincerely slipping down a deep dark rabbit hole of my own sick invention,, i am brought here and carried away to your world.. and my longing for you, becomes similar to the one you have for your books,, and i am comforted and for the first time in days i believe i actually smiled.. thank you
Dearest Minx, I would volunteer to be your chef for the pleasure of undoing you. My fingers could pinch you as tightly as any corset.
i have the sudden urge for curry and hot,sultry sex
Do you read in the nude, like that dear lady in the picture, my dear Minx?
I used to read books in the buff, but had to stop when I accidentally slammed shut a particularly large hardback on my poor organ.
I believe that is how bookmarks were invented, you know.
I know how you feel, a good book will transport you away to some far off place. I often feel like I've come out of a trance whenever I finish a good book.
By the by - my post today was inspired ENTIRELY by you. I tried to write in the vein of the Minx...I think it worked.
You're an inspiration, beautiful.
Oh it is such fun being sucked down the rabbit hole, isn't it Meleah!!
I find I have been vacuumed into a vortex at the moment. There will be no quiet moments spent with a book this weekend!! I have pappadums coming out of my ears with no peace in sight until my boy's birthday is history...
How I long for a quiet moment - my books are calling me!!
xox
Ah Whit darling,
Perhaps after your shower, a cup of tea and a lie down...With a good book...
xox
Oh my darling O,
There is so much fun to be had with a book!!
I find it much more thrilling than the inevitable movie of the same name.
I wonder how they will treat "The Golden Compass"..
I hear they're making it into a movie..
xox
Oh darling Paisley,
I would love to play the Pied Piper and lure you down my rabbit hole.
Think of the fun we could have!!
"We're all mad in here, you know.."
It does help, doesn't it?
xox
Oh my dear Mr Bananas,
I am coming undone at the very thought!
I may have to release my corset and lie down, with one of my literary friends...!!!
xox
My darling Raffi,
How exquisite to find you on the flickering pages of my blog once more! Welcome back, dear friend!!
I must say, I have had my fill of curry after last night! Now for the hot, sultry sex!
xox
Darling Lord Likely,
I have often pleasured myself with a book, in the nude, in fact, like that dear girl...
Ah, what joy it is to feel the gentle flicking of the paper against my flesh ..
I cannot imagine the horror, however, of catching something of my gentleness amongst the pages!
You poor man! It must have been a hefty tome!!
xox
Dearest Lola,
I do so wish I could be transported somewhere a little less demanding than my current location!!
It is all go!! I long for my escape in the pages of a book!
xox
Oh I loved your post O!!!
Perfectly delicious and so inviting!!
I feel like joining you in your blissful undoing.
I've slipped down the wrong rabbit hole here at the moment...and I need to escape!!!
xox
That was fucking fantastic! I cannot be eloquent. I am so thoroughly seen to that I can only whimper softly and breathlessly repeat "Oh Minx... Oh Minx..."
I might be able to have a little korma and nan bread later, when I am feeling stronger, perhaps while I read.
xxx
You make me want to take up reading while taking you simultaneously over my desk.
Let me bcome part of your book and flick through all your pages.