the secret life of Minx
the domestic minx
20 Comments
Cross my heart
and hope to die.
Stick a needle in my eye.
Can you keep a secret?
Indeed I can and I'll never tell...
No, no, no..
For I am Mata Hari Minx and these secrets stay with me.
Lo, though I am burdened by the weight of a thousand promises...
Really, dear readers, is there is nothing more delicious than a mystery unfolding,
being privy to a secret...the sweet unfolding of another's confidence, the diabolical knowledge of deeds divined?
Truly the darkly arcane pleasure of being granted the keys of another's kingdom by way of a secret shared, with the illumination gleaned into another's soul, is such sweet intoxication.
Oh, but promise not to tell?
Cross my heart
and hope to die.
Jam a dagger in my thigh...
For no! One must never, ever tell.
Indeed, I have been the keeper of many secrets.
For years I have entrusted confidences to my heart, my own included, their delicious mystery becoming as deeply a part of me as the blood that courses through my veins, the blood oath I signed for myself and others to never, ever divulge the truth.
For some things, dear reader, should never be spoken. Except to me...
Of course.
You must know by now, dear friends, that I have always been lured by the covert and mysterious. As a child I was possessed by the desire for enigma, drawn like a moth to the flame of secret and arcane knowledge. Compelled to know the secrets of the mystics, I explored the world of Tarot from the age of eleven, seduced by the vision of becoming my own Solitaire.
Cross my heart, Live and Let Die, stick those needles in my eye. Voodoo style.
I was looking for my mojo even then and knew I would find it lurking somewhere amongst the gris gris and the juju and those tantalizing tarot cards.
Oh, how I longed for the secret knowledge to be mine.
Yes, it would be mine, for knowledge is power, baby...
Trouble is, I was still a bit of a doofus back then and the arcane knowledge never really yielded the gains I hoped it would...but the secrets stayed with me, and as I grew older and my process of noesis employed a wider and more wicked scope I found cause to employ my esoterica in ways surreptitious and stealthy.
And, being a minx of course, I began to gather my own collection of secrets, enough to wrap myself up in on a cold night, enough to condemn me, Mata Hari style, to death by firing squad.
Or earn me a smacked bottom at the very least...
Yes, I hear you whispering among yourselves, pondering what these secrets might be, preparing questions even now, wondering how you may wheedle them from me...
Oh but I am wise to you, dear readers, and I will warn you that even your most rabid inveigling will yield nought.
For I am The Keeper of Secrets and, appreciating the extremely covert nature of this sensitive information entails that if I tell you, I will have to kill you.
Indeed. And this computer will self destruct in five seconds.
Ah yes, Mission Impossible was always an enigmatic concept and such was my desire for covert knowldege that following my plunge into the paranormal I immersed myself fully in the business of becoming a Secret Agent.
Ah yes, this innocent visage has served me well, made the perfect disguise, concealing A Sly Spy, an International Minx of Mystery, a modern day Mata Hari and Agent Undercover.
Preoccupied with gathering information, I would waft by windows, lurk at doors, taking notes, gathering my armoury, preparing my portfolio of the surreptitious.
My young sensibilities were convinced of conspiracies at every turn; the possibility of supernatural intervention and alien invasion a threat no one fully realized except me and the probing minds behind such training modules as Kolchak - The Night Stalker and later, the utterly fascinating X Files. I wanted to believe. And I did.
I still do.
I listen when I shouldn't, I take notes when I can, I believe when others don't and I keep it all close to my chest.
It is why I have such a covetable collaboration of collectible secrets.
But oh, cross my heart
and hope to die
stick that needle in my eye,
I'll not divulge a word.
No. Not an utterance of secret will pass my lips.
Well, not unless you have something worth trading...
Oh go on! Tickle me if you must!
Secret, secret, I've got a secret...
Oh, dear readers, if it all gets a little hard to bear,
and like me, you have the weight of a thousand secrets
weighing heavily upon your chest
and you wish to offload them,
those ticklish ones,
with no fear of exposure...
Then I have just the thing!!
Aha, yes!
My darling and most delicious friend Paisley would like to invite you to share,
and divulge, those most delirious of secrets
in the clandestine comfort of her confessional..
Ah, sweet catharsis...
I will be visiting of course,
for I like nothing better than hovering at the door,
and wafting by the window;
sly minx that I am.
Mmmm, perhaps this Collector of Secrets, this Mistress of the Arcane, Agent Provocateur and High Priestess of Purgation may even lighten her load, relieve herself
and spill the beans...
Shhh, don't tell anyone...
Or do..
Direct them here, please, to share their secrets, anonymously, of course.
You never know who you'll meet there! Really, you won't...
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Reader Comments (20)
Oh, the intrigue!
I make no secret of the fact that I always find your blog to be most invigorating, my dear Minx!
and i say to you truly,, in less than total anonymity... that i am entranced,, entombed,, encapsulated,, yes, one might even say embroiled.. in my pursuit of the most decadent,, deviant,, desires of mortal man.. the most sacred of secrets... if for no other reason ,, than to share them with you.....
eye to the keyhole... i am off
love you minx
Oh, I love secrets too! And, coincidentally, am a fantastic treasure trove of secrets never shared, but so closely kept.
It will be nice to share a few on Paisley's lovely new creation!
Sweet relief!
Oh, do tell me though that you regularly check the Post Secret blog. You will LOVE it if you've not been looking at it already.
My dearest Minx:
You can make absolutely anything intriguing. You turn the mundane into the mysterious with a flick of your secret decoder ring. I have a secret right now that is so apropos to this post, well I do believe you are a mind reader.
That's enough of that, Ms. Minx. The beans will not be spilled around these parts.
Je t'adore!
xoxo
Agent Beady Galore™
i know something you don't know ;)
my secret: i have fabricated a story and told someone to keep it secret. if i hear the story resurface, i can be sure to note i will never tell that person a secret again.
Yes, my dearest Lord Likely, intrigue indeed.
It is the spice of life!
I'm sure you have many of your own, you elusive and enigmatic creature.
In fact, a little mutual inveigling might be right up our alleys..for I'll make no secret of my fascination with you and your skilful repertoire...
xox
Oh Paisley,
you are an enthralling enigma, darling, and I will be lurking by that door with unabashed fascination...
We all have secrets...and many that bear repeating..
shhhh...
love you too xox
O, secrets are so delicious, aren't they...
knowing them, keeping them...
my cup runneth over.
Perhaps there will be some spilling of the beans..
It is inevitable...
the relief will be cathartic!
xox
Oh Margot darling!!
Your comment has reminded me of one of my darkest, dorkiest moments, enacted after the procuring of a horrid little "Acme Hypnotizing Unit".
It was my one big chance at Mind Control amongst my peers.
I was eleven and, unbelievably, my friends were even more gormless than I.
The unfortunate guinea pig had to fix their gaze on this miserable silver plastic metronomic object while I whispered words of hypnotic fervour in their ear.
Well, I knew I was good, but not this good.
The poor girl was afflicted with the most unpleasant TV evangelical writhing and frothing at the mouth I had ever seen. Perhaps I had inadvertently told her to become a rabid animal, for the results were astounding. And horrific.
There was subsequent vomiting, parental intervention, prayers whispered and the sadness of an Acme Hypnotising Unit tossed into the rubbish bin.
I've gone back to lurking at the door...
Your secrets are safe with me darling.
Agent Kitten Kookai.
xox
How deliciously sly, Raffi...
While it is a horrible realization that one of your peers may be a rabid blabbermouth, it is a wonderful way to catch the blaggard...
Bravo!!!
xox
Oh Minx!
Aren't secrets intriguing! I've learnt it is important to share a secret or your secretive actions if they are making you feel dishonest or dirty.
I was keeping a secret. My overbearing guilty conscience fuelled the multiplying imaginary demons who feasted on my declining integrity. My weapon of defense was to share the secret with people I trusted (and admittedly, people I knew would tell me what I wanted to hear he he he). I discovered there was no reason for me to feel guilty. The ogres starved and the battle was won.
I've learnt a lot from you my strong-minded minx, in this case, a lesson on empowering yourself. I wonder what theme of my next lesson will be!
Oh your words are such delight- written and verbal!
xoxo
Oh my most beautiful and darling Laura,
Secrets are indeed intriguing and best kept under lock and key by those most skilful at keeping them.
I am the Keeper of Secrets and know how implicit it is to gain one's confidence - and keep it...x
Indeed, there is great catharsis gained from a secret shared. For it is a problem halved...
Trust that those you share it with are worth your divulgence and will help you bear the weight of your worries...
You need not worry about guilt, darling, for you have none.
Only the delicious knowledge of a secret...
Endeavour to keep some, for believe me, there is nothing more intoxicating than something forbidden...
Secrets can be entirely aphrodisiacal...
Kisses,
xoxoxo
""I have been trying to constantly to make a comment on your blog but failing. Thought I'd try again today.
'I adore the way you write and that's no secret'
Somehow it sounded and looked much better yesterday but after the 15th try [no exaggeration] it's lost its cuteness...:( ""
Random Magus
I would like to use my dearest and darling friend Amber (of Random Magus)'s comment and dilemma as an opportunity to apologize for any crazy shit that's been happening on my site or indeed my comment page of late.
The people at Squarespace have been notified and hopefully it will be ironed out smartly...
I would like to add that
I LOVE THE WAY YOU WRITE, too, ALWAYS, dearest Random Magus, and am disappointed that after your little holiday, you have had to return to such foolishness on my site.
xox
Oh, Minxy darling, I would loooove to attempt to entice those secrets out of you! Tickling? Perhaps. Shiraz? Definitely.
Seriously, one of the things I adore about you is that I trust I could let you into my deepest, darkest places and I know that your eyes would gleam and your ears perk up, but you would never share my secrets with another soul. So, when shall I start my confession?
xoxoxox
Rapunzel
Ahh, you know me too well, my dearest Rapunzel xx
For to loosen my tongue one needs only a little of Bacchus' ointment...
Seriously though, while I may be pressed to tell my own tales, I am loathe to divulge the secrets of others... I have seen others do it, to me included, and the resultant tears....sigh...
Loose lips sink ships!!
I prefer the weight of the secret. As comforting as a blanket on a cold winter's night...
I am a deep, dark confessional darling...
"Bless me Minx, for I have sinned..."
Mother Superior Minx
xoxox
I consider myself to be a riddle wrapped up in an enigma, and shoved up the bum-hole of mystery.
And yet, despite these fundamentally fetid flagrancies, there has been enormous fabulousness!!
I applaud you, Lord of the the Lance and Elusive Earl of the Enigma!!
xox
Yes, I was reading about paisley's secrets...it feels a bit ominous, but that's because I'm a big squawking chicken. Something to lurk around, as you've said -- in the wee hours of the night when I can't sleep.
Ah, Kellypea, the joys of lurking.
We become more proficient at it being mothers, of course...
I will enjoy wallowing in the dark secrets of Paisley's confessional, but have yet to decide whether to air my own dirty laundry...
xox