sweet disregard
the domestic minx
32 Comments
Being of an impertinent and inquisitive nature, naturally given to probing and poking, perpetually perched on the edge of my seat and poised for flights of fancy, it gives me great pleasure at times to be my opposite - oblivious, heedless and a little neglectful.
Indeed yes. Sometimes I stick my head in the sand, for I wish to be negligent.
I hold my hands over my ears and sing "lah lah lah" and simply pretend that things, some things, don't exist..
"I can't see you, I can't hear you."
For ignorance is bliss, is it not?
Well, of that, I'm not so sure.
Because, to be honest, dear reader, I truly abhor it when I am not at the cutting edge, not aware, not knowing things.
My entire life story is a quest for knowledge, both arcane and academic.
I must know each and every little detail, for indeed I am The Gatherer of Information,
I am the Mistress of Minutiae, I am a dirty door-listener, a stealthy cat lurking at the window for snippets of something surreptitious, I am the Agent Provocateur and an avid Procurer of Privacies.
Indeed, I am insatiable. I have to know EVERYTHING.
That is, of course, unless it is Mundane, Tedious or in some part related to
Bill Paying.
And then there is a sweet nose dive for the sand...
It is a silly thing really and while my Gen Y sons laugh at my games, blind to my fabulous foolishness, my husband is in a constant state of infuriation.
And I can't blame him really...
I write "f*ck off" on bills, I ignore demands for payment, I palter and prevaricate,
disregarding, delaying any payment at all in fact, until I receive a suspension notice, a warning of disconnection or a death threat.
Yes, I am naughty.
Indeed, I am a nightmare.
I am despised by all major corporations.
And, curiously enough, I don't care.
I wonder sometimes if my behaviour might spring from the vestiges of a rebellious youth, a residual rebellion, a middle finger at our corporation driven society, a resounding raspberry at The Institution and a fart in the general direction of authority.
But alas, dear readers, I admit it is less of a quiet revolution and more of a diabolical dismissal.
My ignorance does little to ward off unwelcome attention, however.
Sadly, there is such a visitor today.
Mr Notice of Restriction arrives from the Water Corporation.
It is no surprise. I have been anticipating his arrival.
I recognize his blue, bald, brazen face peeking from a turgid pile of white envelopes as I open the mailbox. I hear his wheedling, needling voice bleating from the folds of paper as I tear at his conveyance.
And, with all the insouciance I can muster, I carry his miserable form into the kitchen where he warns me, in no uncertain terms, not to ignore him, or restriction of precious fluids will occur almost immediately, with another $114 required to restore them.
Despite my nonchalance, the inevitable vision of stagnant toilets and a lack of langorous baths ensure that within minutes the problem is resolved. Mere moments later find things horrible and vulgar scribbled upon his vile face with his unwelcome form banished to the bin.
He is still flailing in the refuse as my husband returns from work.
I grimace as he pulls him out and examines him, stunned by the obvious signs of injury.
"I just don't know why you do this." he says, "I don't know why you have to write "F*ck off" on the bills and I can't understand how, why they are so horribly overdue!
Why don't you just pay them when they come in and be done with it?"
I shrug my shoulders. I toss my hair.
"Oh, I must have forgotten." I plead, "I really don't know how I overlooked it.
But that bill, ooh, he was so terribly rude when he came inside, I, I -"
My husband smiles. He tosses the blue bill back in the bin and shakes his head.
He knows the game. Too well.
"But it's paid now though, isn't it?"
"Oh yes!" I coo, "I'm sure that's it now, actually. No more bills. All paid."
As I smuggle the other white envelopes under the placemat.
Hmmm, yes, I'll deal with those tomorrow...
Indeed! For after all, tomorrow is another day.
And so is the day after!
Fiddle de dee!
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Reader Comments (32)
FIRST!!!! yes ok now I am going to go read your post :)
I think I have been made a visit by Mr Notice of Restrictions twin brother Mr Electric a time or two, dasdardly fellow :)
And I hereby grant you three wishes, darling Lady!!
An extra one because I have only just posted it!!
Hee!
xox
Oh I've had a constant stream of the miserable, unwelcome little blaggards through my doors...
they all end up the same way -
I show no mercy...
Neither do the major utilities.
I've incurred rather a few fines.
B*stards..
xox
I just recently attached a shredder to the shelf above my kitchen trashcan. When the bills arrive, I gleefully nudge them into certain confetti, generally cavorting in the nude, as I feel very pagan about my ritual.
My wife thinks I'm a bit touched, but the voices tell me to let that slide for now.
SA
i on the other hand cannot stand to have them lurking about... i set them up on auto pays... so not only do i not have to pay them,,, they never creep into my mailbox... nor my mind....
I am much like Paisley. I HATE having the bills in my house reminding me who and how much I owe... it makes me constantly nervous. So, I stopped getting my MAIL, thus, no more bills IN MY HOUSE.
Now I only get my mail once a month. But, when I do get the bills inside of my house, I shuffle through the stack, and play "pick the winner" out of a hat and ONLY pay that one bill.
What I wouldn't give for your nonchalance.....
I hoard them on the fridge. They mock me, they giggle at my rising anxiety, they are in league with the calendar. I pay them on the due date, not a day before, and then the sense of relief! Until the next one arrives.....
cruel, cruel, cruel......
Oh SA,
you sound positively deliciously touched darling!!
More than a little like me!
I must try your ritual...
I am rather pagan myself in my prancing around with nakedness behaviour!!
xox
Oh Paisley,
I wish I was more of a Domestic Engineer and less of a minx sometimes...
My bills mock me in their shadowy, lurking behaviour and only because I have allowed them to.
Not all of them, mind...
A lot of them are automatically deducted.
My rebellion/negligence simply hasn't extended to sorting the whole lot out.
It pains me even to think about it.
Dismissal indeed!!
I obviously live for the drama.
Oh woe is me! ::she cries, cluching hands to bosom::
xox
sad, isn't it...
Indeed Meleah,
I live on my nerves...
I have just come home from a jaunt in the city to find me a new threat of imminent suspension from the phone company.
It seems at any moment my phone, my broadband, my very life could be cut o
Michelle darling,
I must hide mine for I simply cannot bear to see their ugly taunting faces; their cruel mockery only reminding me of the confines of my gilded cage...
Ah, to be free, with no bills, no payments due, no account for services rendered, no consequences of my actions.
Sweet disregard - or delusion?
lah lah lah lah lah lah
I can't hear you!
xox
Dear Minx, the thought of you stealthily spying on me from a nearby tree is deliciously wicked.
My darling Gorilla Bananas,
I spy on you, yes.
I watch your every movement from my vantage point within the branches of my secret tree-top hideaway.
I see your furtive scratchings, I smile at your surreptitious strokings, I lower my eyes at the brazen beating of your chest...
If I see you make a bill for my voyeurism I will not pay you.. You know it.
You will find my head in the sand.
Yours, in delicious insouciance,
xox
Minxy Most Divine
Would that I could ignore the bills, but I must pay them. Diligently and in a timely fashion. I'm building an empire here and that dreadful "good credit" moniker is important to those who lend one money to build empires.
I do so love the idea of writing "fuck off" on them though...hee hee.
I ignore other things...like dust bunnies and deadlines and phone calls I must return. Anything tedious and dull, easily and swiftly escapes my attentions.
I do so understand. You make even not paying the bills a delirious adventure, how do you do that?!
xoxo
Mistress M.
I HATE bills...always manf=ge to be late in my payment :)
Yes, as a pair of comment whores, I believe we shall get on quite famously.
SA
mz Minx :: dammmmm what a bodacious at first trance site ... gorgeous layout and imagery exudes titillations galore, brilliant scribes ... and then you bestow my laz girlfriend's pet name i donn'd her: me Minx, or MinxyMinx. Fortunately, there are still apparently plenty of minx'z a'boot the globe !!! yoo rawwwk-bravado-harrrd, and we'z likes it, lotz... BRAVO!!!
~julian
Oh darling Domestic Minx, I just discovered your blog by means of googling Elle McPherson Boudoir collection after I ripped through DJ for an underwear fix. You speak to my heart!
Ale
Oh my most darling Mistress M for Mpire Builder,
Oh I wish I could pay the bills, but I must ignore them.
My M(inx)pire is a decadent place...
One makes adventures from the smallest things...
xxoxx